this is summer

Being an Example

Yesterday morning while we were getting ready for church, I put on this giant, gaudy ring. 

I {love} big jewelry.  It just makes me happy.

 What I didn't notice is that my two-year-old daughter was watching me.  After I put it on, she exclaimed, "Oh, I need to get my ring too."  And ran into her room. 

She came out wearing this.

Seeing her put on this big ring because Mommy was wearing one just broke my heart.  I love her so much sometimes it hurts. 

And then it got me thinking about her watching me.  I had no idea she was even paying attention as I was getting ready.  I was wrapped up in my own world of getting ready for church, dressing two babes, and trying not to be late again (Chris was already at church playing) to realize that my precious little girl was watching me.

I didn't even realize she was watching me.

How many times a day is she watching me and I don't even realize?  And what kind of example am I setting?  Not a bad one, by any means, but a great one?

Probably not.

One thing I know I've changed since Elliott was born is my language.  To describe my mouth as dirty would be an understatement.  I've now taken to spelling the word I want to say, but that's probably going to have to stop soon also.  That little girl is smart.  And always paying attention when I least expect it.

I'm raising two beautiful girls that I want to be so much better than me.  Don't get me wrong, I do want them to have some of my characteristics: my work ethic and my strong will.  My amazing driving skills. 

But there's probably more that I don't want them to have.  I want them to be more compassionate, more caring, less judgemental, and less harsh.  I want them to be smarter and more patient.  I want them to get only the good from Chris and me.

Less addiction and struggle.  Less messed-up family and more calm.  Less worry and more safety. 

I just want more for them.  So much more. 

So maybe I should start leading by example. 

They're going to follow my lead anyway, so it might as well be a positive one.

Build-a-Lamb

For Elliott's birthday her Aunt Becky got her a gift certificate to Build-a-Bear.  We finally got to go on Friday.

Instead of a bear, Elliott picked out a lamb as her stuffed animal.

It's actually kind of weird how they do it; Elliott hands the empty animal skin to the worker and then they hook the lamb up to a pipe that fills it full of stuffing.  Ellie is supposed to press the pedal to make the stuffing come out.  It took a minute to talk her into stepping on it, I think she was a little leery of the whole thing. 

Harper was obviously thrilled with this adventure.

Then Elliott gets to pick out a heart to put inside the lamb before they sew it up.  She, of course, grabbed a whole handful of hearts as opposed to the one she was instructed to get.  Overachiever.

The worker instructed Ellie to rub the heart on different parts of her body (her heart to make the lamb loving, her belly to make the lamb ticklish, her feet to make the lamb a good dancer, etc.) but Ellie thought she meant rub the heart on the lamb so that lamb got a pretty good rubdown before being sewn up.

Elliott then got to pick out some accessories for her lamb (which she named "BaaBaa") .  We got all the lamb essentials: a pink visor, hairbrush, and Disney princess t-shirt.

To help make Daddy a part of the special adventure, he and Ellie colored the lamb's house when he got home from work (when Chris got home from work; the lamb has yet to get a job).

Elliott definitely had fun making her bear lamb.  BaaBaa has earned a coveted spot in her bed and last night she fell asleep hugging it.  How cute is that?

   What a good gift --thanks Aunt Becky!  

$20.75

After putting the girls to bed tonight, I ran to CVS. 

Here's what I got:

-two 4-packs of AA batteries

-34 oz Folgers coffee

-100 Pampers diapers

-28 oz Johnson's baby wash

-20 oz LA Looks gel

That's the first time I've bought an LA Looks product since the 80's so that was fun. 

On the way home, Chris texted me and said to buy batteries.  I had already bought them so was super-proud of myself for anticipating the need.  And then I got home and I was supposed to get AAA batteries, not AA.  Fail.

I should have also gotten a delicious bag of chocolate and two tubes of toothpaste for that $20, but the CVS I went to was out of both.  So I'm a little disappointed because I know I could have gotten more stuff, but I need to relax because that's a lot of crap for twenty bucks.  Those diapers alone would have been an okay deal, but then all that other stuff?  Beast.

I also ran to Kroger and got six bags of Goldfish crackers for $3.50.  We go through those bad boys pretty quickly around here. 

the telescope

Elliott loves to watch Barney.  LOVES. Everything they do on Barney, she will then do later while playing.  On the show, when a character is sad, they sing this song about "never doing anything right..." and my daughter now sings it when she's in trouble or frustrated.  She goes and sits on her bed, sings the song, and wears a super-sad face.  It's, seriously, like the Barney suicide song.  And when Ellie sings it, it's sad and funny all at the same time.  My daughter is so dramatic--I don't know where she gets it.

On Barney she also learned what a telescope was.  And now anything she can hold up to her eye and look through is a telescope.  Although she closes the eye she's supposed to look through, so we're still working on that part.

In the linen closet, she found a pack of lint roller refills and decided they were a telescope.  So now they stay in her room with the rest of her toys.  It looks kind of silly to see them in her toy box, but she definitely uses them as a toy.  Genius, really.

So I thought it would be fun to give her an empty paper towel roll to decorate and use as a telescope.  She also thought it was a good idea...   

Elliott had fun coloring on something other than her coloring books and then she got to play with it.  Cheap and easy--my kind of project.

On a not-so-good-idea note: later that week, we were heading to our friend Neil's wedding.  Wrapping the present took the last of the wrapping paper so I gave the cardboard roll to Ellie to play with.  She was in the living room looking at things through her giant telescope when I called her into the kitchen for something.  Well, since she's two, she tried to walk into the kitchen with the telescope still on her eye.  Can you see where this is going? Well, good for you, because I didn't...

While trying to walk into the kitchen, she, of course, ran into the wall with her giant telescope and hurt herself.  It did leave a nice little ring around her eye for the rest of the day.  So Elliott spent the day (wedding and all) with a quasi-black eye. 

She can thank me later for that one.

to my baby daddy

If someone would have told me ten years ago I would one day marry Chris Graham, I would have died of laughter.  Literally, died. 

And now look at me.  Married to that guy.  And we have two babies.  Two beautiful babies.  God has good plans.  Much better than my plans actually.  Who knew?

So here's to my husband, my daughters' daddy, my love.  Thanks for fighting through your demons, for staying with me inspite of mine, for helping to create a world of safety and love for our family, and for making me laugh every day.  God is good.

Happy Father's Day Chris.



break down

We had a wedding to attend.

The girls had new dresses to wear.

It was going to be precious.

Instead, this is what happened. 

It was not precious.

Oh gosh, I just love days like this.

a story in facial expressions

Hi, my name is Harper.

See this cute outfit?  Well, my mom bought one for me and one for my big sister, Elliott.  Not cool, Mom, not cool.  Dressing us alike is overrated.  I want to be an individual and special.  Plus, Elliott looks pretty silly in hers. 

Seriously, Mom, look at my face.  Does it look like I'm kidding right now?  She looked silly.

Anneeeway, on a lighter note, have you combed my hair today?  I can't really see it, but it feels a little out of control...

Hmm, your words are telling me "yes, I combed your hair," but your eyes are telling me you did not.  I will remember this tonight.  Say around 2 am, that sound good?

I think we're done here.  I've made my point.  Now, has anyone seen my bottle?

Monkey, thanks for your help...

I'm in the process of painting the kitchen.

It seemed like a good idea at the time, but I had the odds stacked against me now that I look back.

1. Our kitchen was a green that is proving very hard to cover with cream.  I'm working on the third coat now.
2. Apparently, it's not a good idea to try and paint when you're home alone with two small children.  On a Monday.  When naps are overdue.  And you stayed up late the night before doing something important like watching "The Real Housewives of Orange County Reunion Special."
3. I didn't lock the dog (also known as my shadow) in the basement.  Hence the three different spots on the wall that had to be wiped off and repainted because Monkey rubbed his butt or side on.  And now my black dog is covered in paint. 

And these pictures don't do it justice. 

At all.

nail polish

News flash: I am not a girlie-girl.  I never have been and never will be.

I like clothes and jewelry and purses and shoes and, well, you get the point.  But I'm just not into spending too much time on my appearance, so if it's quick and easy, I'll do it, and if it's not, I won't. 

And now that I have kids, there's less time than before so now I have to have something fast when before it was just because I was lazy. 

So when I painted my nails a couple weeks ago it was out of the ordinary.  And for my two year old, it was mindblowing.  I painted them one night after she went to bed and it was the first thing she noticed the next morning (she's a smart one, I tell ya). 

She was paying so much attention to my fingernails that I told her after her bath I'd paint her toenails.  You would have thought I'd told her she could eat a whole box of fruit snacks, it was such exciting news. 

So after her bath, she got to pick a shade of pink (for someone that doesn't paint my nails often, I have a lot of nail polish...) and I sat her on the coffee table and did her nails.  It was super-fun.  Seriously. 

It reminded me of a conversation I had with my friend Shauna right after Elliott was born.  At the time she had a one-and-a-half year old daughter and she told me I would one day love to paint Elliott's toes and it's so cute when you do it to match yours.  I remember scoffing at that and thinking I would never do that.  Too cute for me.

Well, things have definitely changed.  I still don't have the desire to paint my toenails, but I loved painting Elliott's cute little nails.  And the joy it brought to her was well worth the five (or less ) minutes it took. 

Just thinking about it now makes me happy. 

Painting my daughter's toenails makes me happy. 

Who would have thought?