we got married

A couple years ago, a co-worker told me that she couldn't imagine me in a wedding dress.  It was implied that because I was such a lazy dresser that the idea I picked out a pretty dress, had someone do my hair, and then got married sounded far-fetched.  This was not insulting.  It was very true.

Times have changed.  I mostly take showers before work.  And I use a hair dryer.  It's almost like I'm a supermodel. Almost.

Anyway, I did get married one time.  About five and a half years ago. And I wore a dress.

Proof:

Siblings.

My first husband. Just kidding.

Our wedding party.  Specifically shared so that Jeremy could be on Trusty Chucks like requested.  Apparently, I take requests.

Our reception at the amazing, historical Stutz Building downtown Indianapolis.

These girls. Only in high school when I got married.  Now grown ups.  What beautiful women they're turning into.  Just don't tell them I said that.  It would ruin my rep.

So there, I did it. Got married. Wore a dress. Got my hair did.  Although, I didn't wear shoes. I decided early on that I would be walking down the aisle barefoot.  I felt most wedding shoes were ugly (I still think they are), so I got married sans shoes.  I would do it again if given the chance.

That dress was number two, actually.  I bought one, had it altered, and then decided it wasn't for me and bought another one.  I sold the original one about a year later on eBay, so it wasn't a total loss.  So not only did I buy one fancy dress for my wedding, I bought two. 

This random wedding day post is for What I Wore Wedding Edition with Absolute Mommy.  Check out other wedding day stories at her website.

for others

I pretend to be quite the philanthropist.

But I think in my head I'm a lot better person than in reality.

I mentor kids! (It might be part of my job, minor detail.)  I donate to our community's food pantry! (Things that we no longer want or need.)  Yesterday I picked up a pregnant lady from the side of the road and gave her a ride! (Except when you hear the details it sounds more creepy than helpful: I was alone with an empty minivan and she was almost to her destination so my four-minute ride didn't probably have any impact on her life.) 

But Chris and I have always talked about setting an example for our kids about giving.  We talk about tithing.  We had long conversations at Christmas about helping others.  But we still don't do as much as we could.

And then I came across this on a blog I read. (Have you ever read Erin's blog, Living in Yellow, before?  She.is.crazy.  And I like her.  Also, she stalks Giuliana Rancic which I find quite humorous.)  Using inspiration from the Shine Project (which I've known about for well over a year but somehow never done anything about...), she decided to take action.

Currently she's organizing her second annual clothes drive that goes to help three different girls organizations in her hometown (Goshen, Indiana).  She collects a bunch of donations (clothes, shoes, jewelry, purses, etc.) and then the girls get to "shop" all the stuff for things they need.  And she was hitting up people to donate.  And while I don't know where Goshen is, I know through things she's talked about that it can' be that far from Indianapolis (where I live).  So I'm cleaning out my closets this weekend.  And I know that in my giant garage sale pile in the basement, I've got a trash bag or two of stuff that can go also.

So I'm throwing this out for all my local friends to start spring cleaning their closets this weekend also.  Because I'll be emailing you later about it.  And I felt a heads up was only polite.

Have a great weekend, friends!
Maybe get out and serve someone this weekend.

weekend read: If I Stay

I've just sat for the past few minutes trying to figure out how to start this one...and I still have no idea.  If I Stay by Gayle Forman is tragic and heartbreaking, hopeful and addicting.

And I need to get the sequel right now.

Mia's life seems pretty great: a family she enjoys being around, a gift at playing the cello, a boyfriend whose band is getting ready to make it big.  And it's a snow day, school is cancelled and the family loads up to drive to visit some friends.  And then her life changes.  Forever.

There's a wreck and her parents are killed instantly.  Mia views the chaos of the wreck and her own bodying in a ditch from outside of herself.  She watches the medics frantically working on her, the hospital surgeries, and the people left to handle this tragedy.

As Mia tries to grasp what has happened to her family, where her little brother is, and why she isn't dead, she realizes that the choice to survive this accident, to go on living, is hers.

She gets to decided whether she dies or lives.  Dying means leaving her boyfriend, her best friend, her grandparents behind.  But living means she's an orphan and what if she can't play the cello again?

As Mia lies in the ICU, she watches her friends and family visit her, talk to her, and cry for her.  And we learn what her life was like through flashbacks and memories.  Her life was beautiful, she just didn't know it at the time (isn't that always the truth?).

What will she choose?

This book stays with you after you're done.  The choices Mia has to make and the chaos the accident caused is dizzying.  I cried repeatedly during this book.  The first time right after the wreck when Mia thinks how beautiful it was that her mom, her tough, protective, fierce mom, took the brunt of the impact in the crash.  Once again, shielding her family from the worse.  That hit a nerve.

If there was one thing missing from the book, it's that according to Mia and all that's she's experiencing, there is no heaven.  If she chooses death, that's it, it's over.  And I found that so hopeless.

But the story is amazing.  Forman is a great storyteller and I'm heading out to get the next book, Where She Went, tonight. 

pastels and happy clouds

(pants: NY & Co., polka dot shirt: Forever 21, blue tank: Target, blazer: Kohls, necklace: Target, watch: Kohls, wedges: J.C. Penney)

See my new watch?  Yay, super pumped about it.  It was on sale at Kohls this weekend and I could not resist.  Which might happen more than I like to admit, but also might not.  I think my arm is actually sore from wearing it the past two days because it's pretty freakin' heavy.  But worth it.  Totally worth it.

Tonight as Chris was rocking Harper to sleep, I walked past her room and heard him humming to her as she finished her bottle.  I love that man something fierce.

And with that being said, I'm spending the rest of this evening next to him on the couch watching mindless TV.  And it's going to be wonderful.

confessions on a tuesday

-We are done having babies.  In my mind, I understand that.  But sometimes I want to have another just so I can do fun stuff on my blog about it.  Totally not enough reason for sleepless night and poop explosions (we still have those every once in a while with Harper) but it's the truth.  I see a cute blog post and think I want to do that!  Also, Pinterest.  That thing is the devil.

-Reading young adult books when the characters are in love or it's a new relationship when everything is so special, so important, and so fun, helps put a little twinkle in my eye when thinking about my husband.  When a character longs to be kissed or just hold hands with someone, I remember that feeling, that want, and I like that remembering.  Chris and I have been together almost eight years (really? that long?) and the most romantic we get is over dinner when Chris says, "sooo, you wanna do it later?" and I say, "I guess."  But those characters experiencing things for the first time reminds me of what it was like a long time ago and it puts a little pep in my step.  Maybe that's why I like YA literature so much. 

-I didn't have any energy to head to the gym yesterday so I just ate five mini candy bars to get a sugar boost.  Which might be counterproductive for the whole workout thing, but I rationalize that with the thought that I would have eaten those chocolates anyway.  So now I'm just being awesome and going to the gym.  And then I feel healthy and skinny. (Denial, river in Egypt, whatever.)

-My four-day neighbor passed away a couple weeks ago, probably around the time I was writing this.  It happened quietly and his son seems to be doing okay.  Writing about their story made me stop thinking about it so much, made me feel less haunted.  That's the power of writing, why I blog, why I hit 'publish.'  There is something so cathartic about putting words to paper.

-If I could bottle the smell of my children, I would.  The mix of detergent on their clothes, the vanilla lotion after baths, and the sweet drool that is plastered on their faces after a nap create the most wonderful smell in the world.  I don't want to forget that smell.  Ellie has outgrown her baby smell, I don't know when it happened, but it's gone.  I still catch it every once in a while with Harper, but it's fading fast.  I get a pain deep inside my stomach when I think about those smells being gone.  There's something so maternal/instinctual about the smell of your children.  It's weird, but true.

-I seem to find time to blog, but not do my devotion every day...or sometimes even once a week.  I rationalize that most of my blogging is done over the weekends (which is true), but I still find time to read others' blogs so I definitely have time to do my devotion.  I felt pretty convicted about this yesterday so I made sure to make time.  And it was the first one since February 10th.

prairie home companion

(skirt, polka dot shirt, belt: Kohls, shoes: Target, ring: NY & Co.)

I would just like to thank my neighbors for getting rid of that sweet work bench.  Chris spotted it coming home from church one Sunday and brought me back to see it.  What a good husband.

Its new home is on our back patio, located behind our garage.  We put the patio in shortly after moving in to our house.  It's mostly used in the evenings for fires or if we have cookouts, but I've got big plans for the patio now that the table is back there.

And it's the perfect place to put the random mix of potted plants and herbs I have in the summer that I never had a spot for.  I can't wait for it to warm up so I can start planting things. 

I'm also on the lookout for an old wooden table that I can paint to put with some old chairs I've got in the basement to complete the patio decor.

Then we just have to do some more landscaping.

It's pretty barren back there.

It's going to be a busy summer. 

I can't wait.

helicopters

Super-pumped it's the weekend.

We've got nothing to do.

And it's going to be grand.

weekend read: Sarah's Key

Ellie came home from the library last week with some Dr. Seuss.  We have a lot of him at home so I don't think she's ever checked out Dr. Seuss books before.  So the irony was loud and clear on Sunday morning when I was sitting on my bed finished up Sarah's Key by Tatiana de Rosnay and Chris was on the couch reading The Sneetches to the girls.  When I taught 8th grade, I used that children's book for the Holocaust unit.  I silently prayed in that moment that my children would never know the hatred that those persecuted during the Holocaust felt.  That they would never be judged and mistreated based on how they looked, what they believed, or where they lived.  I know I can't spare them from misery and hurt, but I prayed for it anyway.

Sarah's Key is powerful and painful.  Set in France, the novel flashes back and forth between the 1942 roundup of French Jews and present day France where Julia, an American journalist living in France, is researching WWII, the Holocaust, and, specifically, the events that the French government took part in against their own people. 

While a work of fiction, the research de Rosnay did was evident as Julia traveled around the country learning about events and people.  While the story is made up, the places, the events, and the horrors are painfully real.  As Julia digs deeper into her assignment, she uncovers a link between her French husband's family and some of the horrific events that happened during the round up of France's Jews.

What Julia learns will her change forever.

This book is emotional, disturbing, and heartbreaking.  Just when I thought I'd heard everything I could about the Holocaust (I've taught units to both middle schoolers and high schooler and had the opportunity to visit both Aushwitz and Birkenau on visits to Poland), new things come to light.  And the depth to which humans can treat other humans leaves me speechless.

As the story neared the end, I couldn't put it down.  There were times during my reading where I had to stop because it was just too much, but as the conclusion neared, I couldn't wait to see how it all played out.

I'm glad I read this book.  It left me, like Julia, changed.  And made me hold my babies even closer. 

stripe this way

I finally used that Pinterest thing for outfit inspiration.  I can't believe I waited this long.

the original:

(source: kendieveryday.com via Pinterest)

my version:

(skirt: Kohls [similiar], shirt: Old Navy, jacket: Old Navy, tank: Target, bangles: various, belt: Marshalls, purse: H & M, flower: thrifted, sandals: Target) 

I can't pull off a maxi skirt and wedges, that is just too much. 

These were all pieces I had before seeing this picture, but never would have put them together like this on my own.  So thanks for inspiration Kendi (and Pinterest).  We shall see each again soon.

snapshot

We went old school and melted crayons, we played outside which meant baths, and we drilled things.  Not our children, but things.

in which i wear a lot of blue and squint

(dress: Target [like the pink one worn here], wedges: Marshalls, necklace: street market in Krakow, Poland, ring: Target)

Outfit pictures, if they happen at all, are after a long day at work and normally while Chris is holding a wiggling twelve month old. 

It's not glamorous.  It takes about one minute total and is often done while something is burning on the stove.  In that last picture I'm laughing because my dog is standing next to Chris chowing down on his own poop.

That's just how we do it.

So what I didn't realize until getting home the afternoon of wearing this dress is that it is too short.  There was a moment in front of the mirror before I left that morning where I wasn't sure, but I decided I was just being paranoid.

I was wrong.

Which sucks for a number of reasons, but one of them is that so many of the dresses I wore this winter with tights or leggings can't be worn in the summer because they are too short for bare legs.  So what I thought was a pretty sufficient amount of dresses in my wardrobe has dwindled down immensely. 

Damn you, tallness.

On the plus side, I have this dress in a size larger (in pink) so I'm hoping that one is longer.

when it's nice you go outside

And when it rains all day like it did on Saturday, you stay in your PJs, watch lots of movies, and order pizza for dinner.