the best day of the week.

(polka dot pants: Kohls, blouse: Forever 21, boots: Old Navy, necklace: Forever 21)

Yesterday we spent the day outside: cleaning out the garage, filling up the baby pool for the first time, squirting each other with the hose, laying out on a lawn chair and drinking wine spritzers.

Those last two were just me. Chris doesn't drink and my kids can't stop moving for more than five seconds.

It was a good day.

It reminded me how awesome summer is (as if I forgot) and refreshed me enough to tackle these last eight days of school. 

I needed a rest and Sunday was it. Last fall, our church started Saturday evening services and we've been taking advantage of them ever since. Saturdays are always busy, full of errands and birthday parties, Chris usually working and trips to the gym for swimming or soccer practice. So cramming one more thing in on a Saturday doesn't seem bad.

And it makes Sundays absolutely the best.

Sundays have literally become a day of rest. We're together all day as a family (the only day of the week that happens), we get to be lazy and stay in PJs, maybe go out for a late breakfast or an early lunch. We get to play at the park or take a bike ride. I take a break from social media on this day too; no Instagram or Twitter, no updating my Facebook status or watching a Vine video, just completely living in the moment even if it's just sitting on the couch not doing anything. Sunday nights are usually movie night where the girls eat their weight in popcorn and trail mix and we watch a movie on the couch together. All snuggled up and squished together even though our couch could comfortably hold six.

It's idyllic in my mind, but, of course, there's still fighting and the occasional breakdown (normally Elliott). There's still a fight at bathtime and lots of stop touching your sister! but we're together, we've got no where we have to be, and it's Sunday.

Sundays are the best.

movie night + a prize pack for the whole family

I'm not going to lie, we have movie night here at least once a week. And mostly I just love it because we all sit on the couch together and rest. Sometimes after a long day (or week), I just want to sit down for a little bit, but with a two year old and a four year old, that rarely happens.

Unless someone, normally Ellie, asks for a movie night. Then all my dreams come true.

Movie nights at our house always include candy or a special treat that normally isn't allowed. Throw in a big bowl of popcorn and juice boxes (also something we don't normally allow) and they're a hit with everyone.

Recently we got to watch Max Lucado's I Will Tell The Truth and Be Careful What I Say a part of the Hermie and Friends line from Thomas Nelson Publishing. Not only did the girls (both of them! and that's hard to do, for real!) love the video, but I loved the messages they taught.

Telling the truth all the time and being kind with your words are things we're always working on at our house. Ellie has recently started telling lies to stay out of trouble and while we try to correct that, sometimes I think we're not making any progress when she does it again the next day. I know she's four and pushing boundaries/figuring things out/seeing how this whole lying thing works/etc. but I still hate that she's started lying.

So this video was a perfectly timed treat. And the best part is, Ellie keeps asking to watch it over and over again. She likes the singing and the worms (caterpillars, actually) and I like the lessons that are being reinforced. A win for everyone.

Want to win this video for your family? How about make a night of it with pizza, popcorn, and some Oreos? (Sorry, you're on your own for the juice boxes. Those things don't last five minutes in our house.)

Enter below and good luck!

a Rafflecopter giveaway

DISCLOSURE: I was gifted this movie for review, but all opinions expressed are my own.

letters from my heart.

(pants & blouse: Kohls, flats: Target)

Dear Harper,

Please stop letting us know you pooped by scooping it out of your diaper and bringing your stinky hand full of crap to us. There are better ways.

Dear Chris Graham,

One day, when we're old and I snap and kill you, it will because you never learned to shut a closet door or cabinet. It will be the death of me. And of you, too.

Dear students,

No, I didn't miss you over spring break. Stop asking me.

Dear kitchen,

We've been remodeling you since 2008. We've been so slow at it that I get new, better ideas (thanks to Pinterest) every six months and I really don't think we'll ever be done with you. Just giving you a heads up so you can get over being a work-in-progress. That is ALL you will ever be.

Dear spring,

Please stay. And then turn in to summer. Please.

Dear Blue,

If you don't stop digging up my backyard looking for buried treasure, I will force you to wear a doggy diaper like all those little weirdos at doggy daycare and never let you go outside. So get your act together or I will humilate you. I am your mother and it is my job.

Dear Elliott Quinn,

There can only be one boss in this family and you're not it.

Dear seventeen year old self,

That tramp stamp is going to be trashy one day. Hold off on it for a couple years and see if it's still cool. It probably won't be. Also, that belly button ring--that shit is going to be weird after a couple babies and some weight loss. Just stop it.

Dear Facebook friends,

You're really killin' it with all the "activism" lately. Profile pictures, scripture quotin', and arguments...you're really changing the world from the comfort of your office or couch. Idea though: if you really feel strongly about something, put your money where your mouth is. Invest time and money and resources for causes you feel strongly about--whatever they may be. Because no one has ever changed a mind, or a world for that matter, by a status update. Word.

Dear running,

I hate you, but love what you're doing to my body. Keep up the great work.

Dear Target,

Stop bringing out more and more cute clothes. My bank account can't handle it. And neither can my husband and I need him around to kill him later.

Love,

Mary

unwanted reminders

(dress & tights: Kohls, boots: Target, sweater: Old Navy, necklace: Lisa Leonard Designs)

In my early twenties, a girl I grew up with died in a car crash. And as with anyone who dies too soon, it was hard to understand and hard to forget. By this time in my life, I wasn't really friends with her, but I had some close friends who were. So it felt too real and too close to home.

In sixth grade, her birthday party was the first boy/girl party I went to. It was monumentus at the time, but looking back, it was probably just a big let down. Boys stood on one end of the garage and ate all the snacks while girls stood on the other end of the garage pretending we wanted to dance while no one actually danced.

Sixth grade, what a crazy time.

And now years later, Facebook keeps suggesting I be friends with her. Now, after all these years of her being gone, Facebook thinks we should be connected.

Every time I see that suggestion, it makes me sad all over again.

She's gone! I want to yell at the screen---stop suggesting her!

And then I worry about all the other people that are being reminded of her absence every day by a social media website. And I wish someone could just log in and cancel her account. Selfishly, because it would make me feel better. Not her parents who have to struggle daily without their daughter or her close friends who feel a tangible void in their lives. I want someone to deactivate her account so someone who knew her 15 years ago can be less uncomfortable. 

I wonder how often these great and wonderful things that we love to incorporate into our lives are actually backfiring. How many automatic responses, birthday reminders, and friend connections we have that aren't real anymore, that bring about pain when they--through a little computer magic--come back into our lives. 

When we found out we were pregnant in December, I downloaded a baby countdown app on my phone. And then in January, when I had a miscarriage, I deleted the app. But somehow I must have inadvertently signed up for approximately one hundred different email reminders about this baby that no longer exists. Because at least once a week, I get an email about prenatal advice, how many weeks along I am, or what I should be buying for the baby growing in my belly.

Except there is no baby.

And no matter how many times I unsubscribe to an email, another one comes the next week in its place. When I'm least expecting it and, sometimes, not equipped to deal with it.

For the most part, the whole accidental pregnancy/miscarriage time feels like a foggy dream: not real, hard to remember, and some uncertainty about me being involved in it. I'm detached in a weird way.

Then a handy email reminder comes along and I'm smacked in the face with it again. Sometimes the memory just stays for a moment and other times the memory sticks all day. Sometimes it comes with joy and sometimes it comes with sadness.

But thanks to automatic emails, the memory always comes.

And it just makes me wonder how much of this life of being connected with technology, is actually beneficial. Because sometimes it just hurts. 

that explains a lot.

(skinnies: Target, shirt: Target, booties: Old Navy)

My hair looks absolutely ridiculous in these pictures.

Something happened during 7th period and it just went downhill fast. I tried to pin it back up without actually having to redo it and, obviously, it didn't work.

This was only a few days before I chopped it all off and I think this moment might have been the defining one. Where I realized I had too much hair to keep in a ponytail. What I needed was two ponytail holders and then it might have stayed.

I just had too much hair.

Another random tidbit for you today: recently my mother told me she thought my knees were getting really skinny.

She said this with a completely straight face and in all seriousness.

I think that's just another example of why I grew up to be such a smart ass. How could I let such beautiful, well played one-liners like that go without responding?

You're right, I can't.

Which also goes to explain why I often had my mouth washed out with soap as a child. The words just come too fast sometimes.

All the time, really. 

where I'm at now.

(that's a lot of Old Navy in one outfit...skinnies: Old Navy, shirt: Old Navy, sweater: Old Navy, wedges: Target)

I feel a little shitty for bombarding you this week. I've had time--lots of time--to soak in what my December was like. And I didn't share it with you until I was ready.

But for you, my reader, you got all my emotions in quick succession. You didn't get a heads up and I kind of blindsided you. Sorry for that.

I feel like I need to explain the timing of those posts; when I wrote them and where I'm at now.

I blog weeks ahead of time. It just makes things easier for me and, sometimes, when weeks are busy and I don't have much time to devote to my blog, it doesn't show here. I plan and write 10-15 days ahead of time. Normally when you see an outfit, it's actually been weeks since I wore it. Like the gray jeans above, I wore that outfit on January 11th--it was a jeans day Friday at school and I got new jeans for Christmas! (Sorry if that ruins something for you--it's just the only way I can do this.) Other weeks when there's time, I crank out post after post, writing (like most things in my life) is done in spurts. I can write five posts in one day if I'm in a groove. Then they get edited and tweaked and revised before they finally get posted (also, some times they get deleted if they're not worth anything).

So when you read for a couple weeks at Christmas we were five, what I was going through was raw and unfiltered. I was still in the midst of a miscarriage--feelings were overwhelming me. I was "lucky" that this all happened over Christmas break and I didn't have to be at school teaching kids during this period. I don't think I could have done it.

Then two weeks later, I wrote jumbled up and messy: when nothing makes sense. I was no longer shocked about what had happened, but I was angry. I'm sure I could find the official steps to grieving somewhere and it'd help all this make sense, but I'm too lazy for that. I just wanted to cry and I couldn't figure out how--until I started writing. Oh, there you are tears, thanks for stopping by.

It has been almost a month now (I'm writing this one just a few days before posting it--I felt that was important) and things are calm in my soul. I have some glimpses as to what God wants to teach me through this. And I'm turning them over in my little brain, processing and praying, questioning and, maybe, being a little arguementative.

But there is peace where there wasn't in the last two post. There is calm where there wasn't before. There is the start of understanding now. There is rest. I am not consumed with this as I once was.

Your words have been amazing since I shared on Monday--those have helped too. And sharing stories, I believe that helps us all. It is brave and scary and slightly nauseating. So thanks for sharing yours. They made my weird emotions seem okay and me feel less alone.

I'll write more when I have something to say, I don't want to dwell on this, but it's my story and it's important. This event, this season, is already shaping me in new ways. And I'll share those too, when it's time.

Thanks for reading.

jumbled up and messy: when nothing makes sense.

(my first baby meeting my last baby)

There was a large part of me that hesitated to share my story of accidental pregnancy and miscarriage with the world. It felt too easy, because not many people knew, to sweep it under the rug. To carry on and not share.

But then there was this very small part of me that wanted everyone to know.

And that's the part that prevailed.

I struggled with admitting that I got pregnant--without trying--and didn't want to be pregnant, because I have so many amazing people in my life that long for babies and don't have them. I'm a part of a beautiful online community where I've read story after story of couples that struggle with infertility and are draining themselves and their resources to have a baby. And my heart hurts for them. With that in mind, I was afraid my words would add pain where no more was needed.

I wrestled (and still wrestle) with a lot of guilt for bad thoughts I had when I was trying to come to grips with being pregnant. The shock was literally overwhelming and I thought bad things, wished for bad things, and felt extremely sorry for myself. In my head I know that I did not cause my miscarriage by my bad thoughts. But my heart is having a pretty hard time coming to terms with that one.

I'm mad at my body for not being able to do what it's supposed to. To create something that was so easy the first two times--why didn't it work this time? Then I start thinking about wanting and longing for a baby and losing it--I can't put in to words how that makes me feel. And what it makes me feel when I look at my daughters.

I have such a confusing mix of emotions that at times I'm not sure how I feel about no longer being pregnant. I mourn for the baby that was in my womb and now isn't. But it doesn't make me want to try for another one. This roller coaster ride has only confirmed in my head that two is good, that we are done having kids. The miscarriage did not flip some magical switch that shined light on my hidden dream of a bigger family. It actually did the opposite.

Yesterday's post was written two days into my miscarriage. I was raw and exhausted. And it's taken me two and a half weeks to write about it again. To begin to process and understand. But writing about it has been the only time I can cry, really cry, about what has happened. Sobbing, actually. Sobbing that hurts my body, makes everything clench up and, later, leaves me feeling sore and tired.

As a writer, I like to end things neat and tidy. Let my writing come full circle, not leave things unfinished and messy.

But right now I can't do that, I don't have answers, just lots of questions. I don't have comfort yet, or peace. I don't have lessons that I learned or good that has come from this heartache.

Right now, I just have mess.

I know answers and peace and lessons will come from this. I trust completely in my God to redeem this story. Redeem my mess.

Yet God has made everything beautiful for its own time. He has planted eternity in the human heart, but even so, people cannot see the whole scope of God's work from beginning to end.       
-Ecclesiastes 3:11

But I'm not there yet. So bear with me while I just share the mess. Because, really, it's all I have right now.

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And because I'm uncertain and listening so hard for Him right now, I decided to leave the radio on a Christian station the other morning as opposed to immediately changing it to NPR like I do every morning on my way to work (my husband had been in the car the night before). The next song was this one and I've been listening to it non-stop since it stopped me in my tracks that morning on my way to school. It's my prayer and my cry right now.

for a couple weeks at Christmas we were five.

The week before Christmas I found out I was pregnant.

Unexpected, unplanned, and, frankly, unwanted.

It was overwhelming and crushing and upsetting and a million other things. There was dread and guilt. There was anger and frustration. There was confusion and regret.

That lasted for a few days and then, it all gave way to peace.

And eventually, excitement.

This isn't what we planned---we were done having kids. We had given away all our baby stuff as Harper out grew it. There were no baby clothes, no bottles, no bassinet, no swing, no blankets, no car seat. There was a crib, but only because Harper refused to sleep on the bottom bunk of Elliott's bunk beds.

There was some changing of plans, some new goals made, some re-routing of the life we had planned and we were settling into a new normal. We were going to be a family of five and although it wasn't what we had envisioned for our lives, it wasn't the end of the world like we originally thought.

We waited until after Christmas to tell everyone--we felt it should be our secret for a while. We didn't want to share the news until there was nothing but joy in our hearts. We knew this was going to be completely unexpected news and we needed to be settled and okay before surprising everyone else.

At seven weeks, we shared the news with most of our immediate family and a few close friends.

I'm not going to lie, the out-of-left-field announcement was fun to share--I love a good surprise and this was the ultimate shocker.

No one saw it coming.

You know what else we didn't see coming?

A miscarriage later that week.

A miscarriage.

The baby we had just started to feel joy over. The baby that was going to be a boy, we were just sure. The baby we were now wanting, planning for, dreaming about, was gone.

Chris said it just felt like a cruel joke.

I think it felt like some weird holiday experiment.

I sat in front of the Christmas tree and sobbed the news of a baby to Chris. We talked and complained and whined and then, later, we dreamed about our new reality as we sat in the kitchen by the glowing strands of Christmas lights.   

On New Year's Day, we took down the Christmas decorations and I commented about how it made our house feel cold and empty.

That night I lost the baby.

It made it feel like we just put our baby away with the tree and the light-up snowman and the glittery angels. Like it was temporary and not real and done.

And it made our house, and me, feel cold and empty.

five for friday

(follow along on Instagram: @themarygraham)

I didn't have school Monday because of the holiday, but it's still nice to have this week over. It's been frigid-cold for the past few days and I just want to be able to stay in bed and watch cartoons with my kids. That sounds like heaven.

1. Is there anything cuter than a grown man sitting in a kids' chair reading to a little girl? I think not.

2. Baked spinach chips via Pinterest. They were really good! Try it, you'll like it! (in your best Yo Gabba Gabba voice, please.)

3. Red high heeled shoes, you were beautiful, but I'm glad that day is over. And so are my feet.

4. Messy playroom closet and the perfect place for a little nap.

5. More thrifting: vintage blankets make me happy. And no, Chris Graham, there is no such thing as too many blankets.

Back soon with a book recommendation (that I've done before, but I'm throwing it out again for those of you that missed it the first time.)

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Still time to enter my devotions for everyone! giveaway. Go!

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Have you checked out Brunch with Amber's It's OK Thursdays? It makes me feel normal to read what other people rationalize. And isn't that the point of blogging--to find other crazies like us?? Okay, maybe that's just me...

my dog, monkey

(Warning: this is a post about my lost dog.  I miss him and it's sad, but I realize in the grand scheme of things, it's not that bad.  Even though it really hurts and it makes me cry.  So I'm throwing this out there in case you've got something truly important, horrible, or devastating going on in your life--please don't read this because it will seem petty and wasteful and there are so many more important and valuable things than my dog. Like people, mainly.  So there's my warning--read with caution.)

Tomorrow will be two months since my dog ran away.

And I still miss him terribly.

I don't know if it's just denial, but I picture him living with someone else instead of, well, other things.  I imagine him somewhere being loved and fed and snuggled. 

Hopefully a family with kids so that he can do that crazy running-around-the-house thing that my girls found hilarious.  So that someone will chase him like he loved.  I hope they've figured out that he enjoys a good meat-flavored bone, but any dog treat that's bigger than a quarter has to be broken up for him because he's kind of a wuss.

I hope he's allowed to sleep in bed with them and that they don't mind that he hogs all the best spots and growls under his breath when he knows you're about to move him.  It hurts my heart that he was just starting to enjoy sleeping in Ellie's room more than ours when he left.  I missed him in our bed, but loved that he wanted to be with my daughter at night.

Maybe his new family will break him of the gross things he did like always eating his poop.  And they'll learn that the best game to play is who-can-pick-up-the-dog-poop-in-the-backyard-quicker, the human or the dog, because he freaks out when he realizes you're pick up all his snacks.  And I know it's gross, but I miss that part too.

Every time I leave the house or head back home, I spend more time looking in other people's backyards hoping I spot my dog than paying attention to the road.  I'm sure some day this incessant looking will stop, but I don't know when that will be. 

I still think he'll find his way back home.

Ellie still asks God to bring him back when she prays at meals or before bedtime.

My chest still tightens every time I walk in the door and realize he's not there to greet us.

I still can't believe he's gone.

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Before we had babies, we had a fur baby. Lisette at Northern Belle Diaries is a mama to two fur babies and a former teacher--it's like we're supposed to be best friends. Oh, except she can sing. Which I only think I can do. Anywho, go see her and her cute dogs--tell her Monkey's mama sent you!

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I started 2013 off with a reader survey, please take a moment to tell me what you think!

five for friday

Another Christmas-themed high five for Friday, what a surprise.

In the spirit of the David Letterman Show, my top ten five favorite moments of the week:

5.  Elliott's Christmas program at her preschool.  It's embarrassing how giddy I get during this.  And seriously, my daughter is the cutest three year old in the world.

4. Christmas morning at home.  This was the first time since Chris and I have been married (so six Christmases) that we got to just be at home on Christmas morning.  For those of you that get this pleasure every year, I'm extremely envious.  Obligations keep us super-busy the week of Christmas but due to an unexpected illness (see #1) and my sister's daughters spending Christmas morning with their dad, we got to spend a lazy morning at home.  My parents and brother stopped by to check out the girls presents and then later, Chris' mom came for a visit.  It was relaxed and slow and what we want to do every year.

3.  The day after Christmas came our first big snow in a few years.  Our city told us to stay off the roads and we oblidged.  We got a cozy day at home while a snow storm raged (we ended up with about 8 inches--great way to break in the snow suits and boots Santa brought the girls!).  It was the perfect day-after-Christmas spent playing with new toys, watching movies, and cleaning up the tornado that is Christmas day.

2.  Chris and I don't really do Christmas presents for each other--it's normally something big for both of us (a new TV, a shiny new garage door!) but I did manage to score a pretty awesome scarf under the tree this year.  I love Target.  Oh, and Chris Graham.

1.  We spent Sunday and Monday with a severely sick three year old.  By Sunday night she had been throwing up for over twelve hours and our on-call doctor told us to head to the ER.  Once we were at our local children's hospital, they hooked her up to some IVs and then admitted her because of some concerns over her blood sugar levels.  We made it home on Christmas Eve afternoon and we still able to hit most of our Christmas gatherings with a tired, but fully recovered, preschooler.  It was the best Christmas present ever.

I hope your holiday was amazing--we still have three more to go and then we'll be done.
Merry Christmas!
Mary

Linking up with High Five for Friday with From My Grey Desk blog.

five for friday: christmas themed

1. Lately I've been overwhelmed with random kindness of strangers over the internet.  It's refreshing and does my heart good.  My inbox overflows with goodness from others and this blogging thing is rockin' my world right now. 

2.  We did DIY Christmas ornaments this week.  Pretend you didn't see these if you happen to be related to me or my children, as you might be getting one of these soon.  The best part about this was that both the girls wore Chris' old t-shirts while painting and looked adorable.

3. Basketball tryouts started on Tuesday--I'm coaching our 8th grade girls' team.  I was a little nervous and didn't really know what to expect, but once we got on the court, it was like I knew all this stuff and girls were listening to me and doing what I told them.  Those twelve years of basketball did stick with me, who knew??

4. Elliott's Christmas program for her preschool is this weekend and I get so pumped about these.  They are chaotic and disorganized and entertaining and perfect.  I can't wait to see what happens on Sunday. (At last year's program, Ellie got to wear a pillow case!)

5.  Christmas is in full-swing at the Graham house (as, I'm assuming, most places) and we got to visit some reindeer at our public library this week and decorate our gingerbread house.  Although, the house has pretty much been destroyed because every time we turn our backs, someone is ripping off candy and shoving it in her little mouth. 

Very Christmas-themed high five for Friday today--did you do anything fun this week?  Any crafts or recipes I need to try?  I seem to stay up way too late baking and crafting this time of year...how about you?

One last thing, if you're doing Christmas shopping this weekend (like me...), there's still time to order online at Kohls.  Use code TENBLOG to get 10% off your order and you can use one other coupon code with it--so if you're like me with tons of Kohls coupons showing up in the mail almost daily, this could amount to a pretty sweet savings!


Linking up with High Five for Friday with From My Grey Desk blog.

five for friday

Thank the Lord it's finally Friday.  I have big plans for a whole lotta nothin' this weekend and I can't wait to get started on it.

1. It's still unseasonably warm in Indy, but we did have a chilly evening this week so we ventured to Christmas at the Zoo.  The girls didn't know what to do with all those lights...

2. I don't mean to brag, but I made it to the gym for the first time in about a month last night.  Needless to say, I can't walk right now and it feels awesome.

3. Speaking of working out, next week is tryouts for the 8th grade basketball team which I somehow got roped into coaching.  My plan is to do drills with the girls and get my daily exercise that way during the week.  We'll see if that plan actually sticks.

4. I'm finally getting these bad boys mailed this weekend.  Check out Zazzle if you need some for yourself.

5. Normally Friday afternoons I post a book recommendation (called weekend read).  I read lots of good books and like to share.  Today will be a little different.  I'm actually posting about three books I'd tell you not to read.  Peaked your curiousity? Check back later to see what books I would steer clear of.  Seriously, they're bad.

Have a great weekend!
Mary

Linking up with High Five for Friday with From My Grey Desk Blog.

meal planning & printable

(follow along on Instagram: themarygraham for more exciting pictures like this!)

Sunday mornings are spent meal planning and bill paying.

And doing shots while giving each other tattoos.

Okay, not really. 

That first sentence was just so lame I thought I needed to throw in something crazy to make myself sound not so boring.  But I'll just accept that this is as fun as it gets on a Sunday morning at the Graham house.  And, actually, I really like meal planning.  I could definitely go without the bill paying though.

How I Meal Plan
-Gather supplies: calendar, grocery list, menu sheet, cookbooks, and a big cup of tea
-I made this menu sheet a couple years ago and it's served us well.  I like that I can divide each day into two or three sections depending on how many meals I'm planning for.  My husband stays home with our daughters and is on his own for breakfast ideas, but I do the lunch and dinner ones. (Wednesday's post will be our 20 most popular lunches for our toddlers if you're interested in specifics.)
-I do this plan every two weeks.  I tend to only grocery shop every other weekend and we'll make additional runs for milk or something, I get the bulk of my shopping done in one stop every two weeks.
-The first thing I look at before deciding on meals is what our evenings look like.  If I'm going to be after school late with meetings, then I make sure I have a slow cooker meal ready.  If we're going to be running errands or have someplace to be and can't eat at home, I make sure we have money budgeted to eat out.
-After slow cooker meals and crossing out nights we won't be home, I go through my cookbooks and come up with meal ideas.  I like to cook and 90% of the time make dinner for my family.  That isn't to say we don't order pizza or go off the menu occasionally.  Sometimes I'm just too tired to cook. #truth
-As I'm writing down our meals, I'm adding ingredients to the shopping list that we don't have, but I'll need for a specific lunch or dinner.  If at all possible, I try to combine things to save time (like buying three pounds of chicken when a recipe only calls for two.  I'll make all of it and freeze the rest to use in another chicken recipe the following week.)
-Part of the reason I do a lunch plan when my husband could easily come up with lunch ideas is because too many times we were serving them similar things for both meals.  I'd plan on making pasta for dinner and then he'd mention they had macaroni and cheese for lunch.  And while my kids probably don't care about having two meals that are so similar, I like to vary their diets and that bugged me.  Hence, I meal plan for lunch and dinner.

-I love cookbooks and horde collect them, but I pretty much use the same ones when I'm meal planning.  I tend to just glance through the others and then come back to the three above because there's so much to choose from and it's pretty much all a hit.  I also like to find random recipes online and I'll print them off and throw them in a recipe box to use later. (Truth: my "recipe box" is really an old cigar box.  I love the way an old cigar box looks and always pick a couple up when I'm around a smoke shop. I'm serious, they're beautiful boxes.  And bonus: they're super cheap.)
-When my meal planning is complete, I drag myself to Sam's Club and the grocery store.  I used to love grocery shopping before kids but now I dread it.  Although, you know what I dread more than actually shopping?  Putting all that stuff away. Ugh.

So that's it--how the Grahams use meal planning.  It really does wonders for our evening and it's just really nice to come home from a long day of educating lovely children and not have to worry about what I'm making or what's in the pantry.  Because by the time 5:00 hits, I'm pretty much done thinking for the day.

How about you? Do you meal plan?  Have any great recipes I need to try?  If you grabbed my menu sheet, tell me how it works for you!


P.S. Did you win the Precious Moments giveaway from last week? Go here to check!

Our Money: Part Three

(This is the third part in my money series.  See parts one and two here.)

One topic that is covered often in The ABC's of Financial Freedom has to do with children and finances.  Cameron talks frequently about what his family did to get out of debt, how his children contributed to the goal, and what everyone in the family gave up to make this goal a reality.

This lesson was important for us.  We want to raise kids who are money-wise, God-honoring children.  We want them to understand our family's finances and appreciate money so they don't leave our house as college-bound kids with skewed views on money (and debt!)  And I believe that process should start sooner rather than later.

As I was reading the book, it made me thankful for parents that felt this lesson was important to instill in their children also.  I grew up doing the things that we're now doing with Ellie and, while I might not have liked it at the time, I appreciate those lessons now.

In brainstorming ways to help Ellie "earn" money and then learn to tithe and save that money, I came across this post from Simple Mom about kids and chores.  She had a free chore chart I could download that was very simple and set up well for small children.  We printed it and have been using it every week since.  What I like about it is you can customize what chores you want your child to do (most of them are things Ellie already does, but now we make a bigger deal out of them and reward her for doing what we ask).

The chart starts on a Monday and Ellie gets a sticker every time she does something on the chart (clean up her breakfast dishes, feed the dog, help set the table for dinner, clean up toys before bedtime, brush her teeth without a fit at night [side note: this is a huge problem for my daughter--she stalls at bedtime almost nightly and we wrestle to brush her teeth, it's exhausting].  She gets to pick out the sticker (which takes for-e-ver) and then put it on the chart. 

We do this all week and then on Sunday evenings, we get out our jar of nickels (we decided on a nickel per sticker and then went to the bank and got a few rolls).  She gets to put a nickel on each sticker, we work on counting, and then she puts them in groups of ten.  She doesn't know it, but we do a little percent math with her ten nickels: one nickel goes in the God jar (her tithe), two nickels go in the Savings jar, and the rest goes in the Ellie jar.  We talk about why we give God some of the money He helped us earn and that Mommy and Daddy do the same thing.  We talk about saving up money for big stuff (like college, but we don't use those words obviously), and then how she still has lots of money leftover to spend on whatever she wants. 

Each Sunday morning, she empties out her God jar and takes it to church for her offering.  She hasn't spent too much of her money, but Chris did let her go to the store once and pick out some candy (Starbursts, FYI) and he said it was cute and maddening all at the same time as she paid with her handful of nickels.  (Another side note: she then inhaled half the Starbursts in the car while he wasn't looking.  Good Daddy.)

Even though our daughter is only three, starting this routine now will (hopefully) allow her to make better money decisions as she gets older.  We'll probably start this chart with Harper soon also.  Not because a one year old needs chores, but because she sees her big sister do it and wants to be included.  So why not?

This jar system that we use is exactly what my parents with my sister and me when we were little.  I had to tithe and save a portion of everything I made--it really sucked.  All I could think about was what I could be doing with that extra money.  As an adult, I know that logic is wrong and I hope as we go through this with our own kids, we'll be better at creating worshipful hearts about money.  We'll see how that goes. 

If we want our kids to follow our lead, we have to be intentional about the money conversations we're having with them and show them what we're doing with our money.  Because we're serious about leading by example.  There's just no other way.

This chore chart and allowance thing is a work-in-progress.  What do you think? Do your kids earn money doing chores?  Do they get an allowance?  I've read lots of thoughts for and against allowance/chores so I'm interested to hear what you think.