five for friday

Another Christmas-themed high five for Friday, what a surprise.

In the spirit of the David Letterman Show, my top ten five favorite moments of the week:

5.  Elliott's Christmas program at her preschool.  It's embarrassing how giddy I get during this.  And seriously, my daughter is the cutest three year old in the world.

4. Christmas morning at home.  This was the first time since Chris and I have been married (so six Christmases) that we got to just be at home on Christmas morning.  For those of you that get this pleasure every year, I'm extremely envious.  Obligations keep us super-busy the week of Christmas but due to an unexpected illness (see #1) and my sister's daughters spending Christmas morning with their dad, we got to spend a lazy morning at home.  My parents and brother stopped by to check out the girls presents and then later, Chris' mom came for a visit.  It was relaxed and slow and what we want to do every year.

3.  The day after Christmas came our first big snow in a few years.  Our city told us to stay off the roads and we oblidged.  We got a cozy day at home while a snow storm raged (we ended up with about 8 inches--great way to break in the snow suits and boots Santa brought the girls!).  It was the perfect day-after-Christmas spent playing with new toys, watching movies, and cleaning up the tornado that is Christmas day.

2.  Chris and I don't really do Christmas presents for each other--it's normally something big for both of us (a new TV, a shiny new garage door!) but I did manage to score a pretty awesome scarf under the tree this year.  I love Target.  Oh, and Chris Graham.

1.  We spent Sunday and Monday with a severely sick three year old.  By Sunday night she had been throwing up for over twelve hours and our on-call doctor told us to head to the ER.  Once we were at our local children's hospital, they hooked her up to some IVs and then admitted her because of some concerns over her blood sugar levels.  We made it home on Christmas Eve afternoon and we still able to hit most of our Christmas gatherings with a tired, but fully recovered, preschooler.  It was the best Christmas present ever.

I hope your holiday was amazing--we still have three more to go and then we'll be done.
Merry Christmas!
Mary

Linking up with High Five for Friday with From My Grey Desk blog.

where I put on my rose-tinted glasses and forget the rest (or having a half-full glass)

[source]

I prefer to call them "goals" as opposed to "resolutions," but looking at what I wanted to work on in 2012, I'm happy to say I did some things well:

-I'm not sure I'd go so far to say I was a better friend, but I did write more notes and make more phone calls.  Which is major considering I hate talking on the phone.

-I read more adult books.  Probably not enough since I do love YA lit more than most, but I've also got a nice stack of grown-up books ready for 2013 so I'm going to keep this goal for next year too.

-I did play more and be more transparent, but there's always room for more there, too.

-Wearing out the gym membership was accomplished! Things got a little busy as the fall approached, but I'm looking forward to more time soon so I can make the gym 3-4 times a week again.

-I managed not to wreck any vehicle so there's that.

And since I'm all about being positive, I'm not going to list the failures from the list.  But there were some.  Okay, more than some.  Use your imagination.

I would like to say I'm a better mother than this time last year, but some days that's not true.

I would like to say I've grown as a teacher this year, but some students would disagree.

I would like to say my marriage is better and stronger and wiser than it was last year and I'm probably right on that one.

I would like to say I'm kinder, smarter, more patient, and slower to anger than last year.  But really, that just depends on the day.

This year has been full of surprises, blessings, and successes. 

It's also been full of chaos, hurt, failures, and shortcomings, but I'm thankful for those just as much as the positives.  Because while I can't  (and probably won't ever) see the big picture, I have a God who does. 

And that makes it a good year.

a thankful heart.

Last year I did the 30 days of thankfulness.  This year I did not.

But if it's possible, I'm more thankful this year.  I feel that as I get older, I learn to appreciate what's real and true.  And what isn't worth my time.

Today I'm thankful for babies that wake up smelling like drool, ugly hospital socks to sleep in, a home that protects my family from heat and cold, friends that know what I need before I do, thrift stores and dry cleaners, hot showers and hair dryers.  I'm thankful for a husband that loves unconditionally, a God that taught him how, and church that is alive.

I'm thankful for date nights, the smell of clean sheets, whipped cheesecake, and The Walking Dead.  For books and books and books.  For new friends and less-new friends.  For learning, for grace, and for family.

I pray your day is filled with delicious food, good conversations, family, and maybe a nice nap.  Because, really, what else is there?

Happy Thanksgiving,
Mary

thirty

The last day of my thankful month and I feel like I'm just getting started on the list.

At church on Sunday, someone told a story that really made me think. 

What if today we only had what we were thankful for yesterday?

Some days, I would survive.  And then others, I wouldn't really have anything.  So I'm not done being thankful just because this is the last day of November.  I'm going to keep remembering, keep thanking, and keep cherishing it all. 

Today I'm thankful for the lessons I'm learning.  Always a work-in-progress, but better than the day before.

twenty nine

Today I'm thankful for sweet baby breath, my daughters' laughs, an impromptu day off yesterday, and Chutes and Ladders with a two year old.

twenty eight

Today I am thankful for Christmas decorations and alcohol.  In no particular order.

twenty seven

Today I'm trying to remember how lucky I am to live in a country where I'm free to worship God freely.  I often take for granted going to church openly, reading my Bible wherever I want, and expressing my beliefs whenever I want.  Things that other people can't do.  Things that other people have died trying to do.  So today I'm thankful for being able to drive to church without worrying about who will see me and what might happen as I enter to worship.

twenty six

I love my Crock Pot.  LOVE.  It makes getting dinner on the table a possibility when I'm not getting home from work and meetings until after 5:00.  Or now, on this lazy Saturday, when I've filled it with this yummy potato soup recipe so that tonight while we're getting out all the holiday decor and decorating our Christmas tree, we'll have something delicious to fill our bellies.

twenty five

Today I'm thankful for my brother and sister who braved the Black Friday crowds with me (although we technically started on Thanksgiving Thursday...) and made sure I didn't kill anyone.  Not kill them because they got a deal I wanted, but because people take their shopping too seriously.  I think midnight shopping with the masses is fun...but, come one people, it's just a $5 sweater, it's not going to change your life. 

We had fun and I'm still trying to recover from staying up so late.  This mama likes to be in bed early.  But I'm thankful we got to shop (and stand in long lines) together.

twenty four

I avoid grocery shopping with my children if I can.  It's just better for everyone if Mommy goes to the store without family members.  But while Chris was out of town, the girls and I had to go grocery shopping to get the things for our Thanksgiving baskets for church. 

Every year, we grab a Rubbermaid tote and fill it with the requested items and then bring it back so our church can distribute them to families in need.  This year, we decided we could do two of them.  The baskets cost about $40-$50 to fill up (with food and a gift card for a turkey), but we decided it wouldn't be a stretch to do two this year so we had two totes to fill.

I was slightly annoyed as I shopped for the groceries, it was bedtime for Harper and Ellie was being super-whiny about having to ride in the cart.  I was lacking patience and the store was too crowded on a Friday night to get anything done quickly. 

I was trying to explain to Ellie why we were shopping that night and not getting things for ourselves.  In her two-year-old mind, she just couldn't understand why if people didn't have food, they didn't just come to the store and get some like we were doing.  Which makes sense if you don't understand anything about money.  So the lesson was lost on her.

But we continued picking out things, Ellie getting to throw the items in the cart and Harper getting to gnaw on a package of dry noodles.  I was grumpy and just wanting to get the trip over with.

Toward the end of our trip, we kept running into another family who was shopping with the same list from our church and filling a basket.  And of course, we always needed to be around the same objects which I didn't have any patience for and found annoying.

In the last aisle, we ran into the family again.  And as I was parking my cart to grab the remaining items, I overheard their conversation which stopped me dead in my tracks. 

The parents were discussing which grocery items they needed to put back so they could afford to get the Thanksgiving tote filled.  They were taking socks out of their cart and the dad was running them back to the clothing section.  The mom mentioned being able to go without eggs that week.  And then I got a closer look at their child, a sweet little boy with out-of-control hair who up close you could tell wasn't right mentally.

And in that moment, I was overcome with shame. 

The shame from the bad attitute I had as I was shopping for our items.  The shame of only doing two totes.  The shame of acting inconvenienced for an hour while serving other people.

As we shopped, I was keeping a running total in my head and was regretting grabbing two totes.  Not because I didn't have the money to spend, but because I would have rather been doing something else with that money.  Like shopping for our family or eating out or Christmas shopping.  Just being greedy.  Just being selfish.

And then God stops me and tells me to shut up.  He lets me see a family that really was struggling and how dare I complain when it wasn't hurting me one bit to do two totes of food.  And to remind me about all I have to be thankful about, all He's blessed us with.  Shelter and jobs, healthy children and love.  He has met all of our needs, never let us down.

  How dare I act like that.  

Standing in the pasta aisle in Meijer, I felt God speaking to me like I hadn't in a while.  It was shocking and embarrassing, humbling and calming all at the same time.  And it's made me more thankful.  And changed my heart.

Happy Thanksgiving.

twenty three

Clean sheets.  There's nothing better.  I love freshly laundered bedding.  In the Graham house, Tuesday is the day we change the bedding.  And since Chris is home right now, that's his job.  So not only do I not have to wash the sheets, I don't have to make the bed (which I despise).  I just get to crawl into bed at night, nice clean sheets waiting for me.  Heaven.

twenty two

Today I'm thankful for Valle Vista Health Systems, a counselor named Tom, Celebrate Recovery, and all the people in my husband's life that help keep him clean.  To describe learning your husband is a drug addict as a slap in the face doesn't even begin to cover it.  Sometimes I still don't believe it and it's been over sixteen months.  I remember that day so vividly, like it was this morning, but at the same time, if feels like it was a lifetime ago.  We're a million miles away from where we were that July day in Tennessee when everything came crashing down and we've still got a million more to go.  I'm probably just now comfortable enough to say I'm married to a recovering drug addict.  We live our life differently than we did before because we have to.  But I wouldn't change a thing.  So today I'm thankful for those who helped and continue to help Chris stay clean. 

twenty one

Sometimes I like to complain about my job.  And other times, I love my job.  Either way, I'm always thankful I have a job.  A job that allows me to be home often with my babies.  A job that is the best and worst job all at the same time.  A job that I wouldn't change for anything, even on a really bad day.   

twenty

Today I'm thankful for the men that randomly stopped by yesterday and offered to cut down the dead tree in our front yard...for $300.  Because that sucker is big and we've had many companies give us estimates to cut it down and those were all between $800 and $1100.  So I'm not sure if these guys just needs some extra Christmas cash or are doing stuff of the side, but either way, it's a deal.  And they're insured.  I checked.  So goodbye giant dead tree.  While I'm sad that we now have no trees in our front yard, I'm glad that thing is gone.  And we're planning on planting new trees in the spring.  Healthy, pretty trees.  So thank you, Bill from Anderson's Tree Service for stopping by.  And goodbye tree.

nineteen

I am thankful for my washer and dryer.  There was a brief moment (three weeks--before we had kids) when our dryer broke and we had to take clothes to the laundromat.  It was time consuming and boring.  But I understand that some people just do that, every week, and it's their only option. So I'm very grateful for the washer and dryer in my basement that I can turn on while doing other things or as I'm going to bed.  And even though they don't match and sometimes my dryer makes a funny scraping noise, they get the job done.   

eighteen

Today I'm thankful for Thirty One.  I know that sounds silly, but I really am.  I started selling it because I just wanted one of each of the bags and I thought the cheapest way to get one of everything was to sell them.  But now it's so much more than that.  I'm making extra money for my family, I get out of the house by myself (gasp!) for a couple hours, and I'm getting mostly-free bags.  Score.  When I first thought about selling Thirty One, I thought it was a bad idea.  My personality does not lend itself well to sales.  Let's not talk about the White Barn Candle Company fiasco while in college, but the lesson learned was I shouldn't try retail again.  Ever.  But I really don't sell things now so much as show people what I like and then they pick out stuff they like.  And it just works.  And with our extra, we're able to do more for others.  It's a win-win.

seventeen

Heat!  I love you soooo much.  Today is cold.  And I have the heat cranked up.  I tell Chris it's because we have small children and we need to make sure they're warm--it's our responsibility.  But really it's just an excuse for me to keep the house at 70 degrees.  Don't tell Rick Ritter, he'd have a fit. 

sixteen

I finally got a car.  Or, more specifically, an SUV.  And while I think I could have taken months to decide what kind of vehicle I actually wanted (what I really wanted was my car back...), we finally just had to make a decision.  So we got a Nissan Xterra.  And Chris loves it.  I'm indifferent, really.  And I'm not crazy about the gas milage, but nothing will ever compare to my Mazda.  That thing was amazing.  My friends have welcomed me into the SUV world, I'm paying out the wazoo for gas, and I can haul some major cargo if needed.  It's been an okay transition.  But you know what has been awesome?  Having a second vehicle again.  You never realize how convenient having two is until you have to go without; it was the longest month ever.  So today I'm thankful for a vehicle.  It's not brand new, it might cost an arm and a leg to fill up, but it's mine.  All mine.

fifteen

When I was pregnant, I got a back rub every day from Chris.  Even when I didn't ask for it.  Another time, I was being a big baby, already snuggled in bed with a million covers on me in the dead of winter, I talked Chris into getting up from the warm bed and getting the Chapstick for me.  And then I talked him into putting it on my lips.  That, friends, is a good husband.  Because I am sometimes whiny, always bossy, and occasionally demanding, but he not only puts up with me, but loves me.  Every day.  Even when I make it hard to.  And that's why today, I'm thankful for my husband.   

fourteen on the fifteenth

Yesterday was a long day...and it made me appreciate Papa John's pizza (and every takeout place near our house) a little bit more.  This week is full of conferences, open houses, dinner meetings, and appointments.  And that we got dinner last night was an accomplishment.  And that I didn't have to make it was an added bonus.